5 Ways To Stash Your Holiday Cash

July 29th, 2010

Ever been pick pocketed in a European Capital? Yes. Me too. Twice.

“If only someone had complied a list of 5 bizarre ways to fool those damned pick pocketing petty thieves, this never would have happened!”, is what I told myself. Both times.

Without further ado, and in the interests of protecting the wallets of fellow itinerant fools, here are 5 strange and practical ways to stash your cash when you travel.

1. An empty lip balm holder is a great way to keep pickpockets on their toes. Simply roll up your bills and place them inside the empty lip balm holder and close with the cap.*

*For added fun, leave some scented lip balm in the case. Your notes will be left smelling like roses at best and like vicks vaporub at worst.

2. Grab a thick ballpoint pens (or a thick marker) and empty out its insides. Now simply roll up your notes and pop them inside. Screw the top back on and you’re ready to go. *

*Unlike the lip balm, make sure ink is well and truly cleaned out. If not, when you come to handle your notes you’ll find yourself red-handed, or green-handed, depending on the colour of your marker. Just like you’ve been attacked by the perma-ink that stains thieves. Which would be ironic.

3. Instead of your backpack, why not carry a plastic grocery bag? This will confuse robbers as you’ll look like you just popped out for some snacks instead of heading off to a see a tourist attraction like the obvious easy to rob tourist that you are.*

*At last, a use for all those plastic bags you’ve been keeping in the cupboard beneath the kitchen sink.

4. Socks are a great place to keep a stash of extra money, or even your credit card. Do it before you leave the hotel room, and when you need to use it, discreetly slip it out.*

*Beware of this tactic if you have smelly feet. Also not suitable for hot climates where only flip flops are worn.

5. If you’re planning on wearing a hat (or a cap) for the day, just turn it over. Inside you’ll spot the sweat lining, cut it open and stash that cash.*

*I cannot be held responsible for your hat hair in holiday photos as a result of following this tip.

Despite the silliness above, here comes some travel advice from the heart. Never keep all your money and credit cards in one place. I travel alone a lot and on the occasions that I have been robbed, my bizarre cash stashes have saved me.

So, separate out your credit cards, keep some cash in your bag, some in your hotel, some in your pocket and, if you really must, keep some in your stinky socks.

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5 Responses to “5 Ways To Stash Your Holiday Cash”

  1. benj Says:

    Another tip: carry around a Monopoly set with you everywhere. The thieves will never think to check if the Monopoly money is really real money and even if they do, you can always fob them off with a Get Out Of Jail Free card instead.

  2. Zoey Says:

    Excellent idea. This would also be helpful for hiding your money in the chest… the COMMUNITY CHEST that is. Hawhawhaw.

  3. tacogirl Says:

    Another trick I saw on net was use men’s y fly underwear and convert to a safe storage pouch for valuables.

  4. Stubbsy Says:

    My top tip is to get a plain white t-shirt and staple the bank notes to the front in a fancy design. Thieves will think it is just a cool t-shirt design and you can just pull the notes off when needed!

  5. Zoey Says:

    Well check out stubbsy who only uses bank notes…

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